My Boss told me to Fuck off & I became a Fucker
“It is sometimes difficult to get rid of first
impressions” said Sherrilyn Kenyon, best-selling US author. It was my first
job, and as an ambitious, young, aspiring HR professional, I was trying my
level, best to impress everybody at work, including my impudent boss. I liked
my work, especially the challenges pertaining to the job. The only thing I
could not adapt to, was the boorish treatment meted out by our boss to his
subordinates. Human beings tend to make mistakes, and being a trainee, I also
made a mistake at work, and in the presence of all my colleagues, my boss
shouted at me “Fu…….off”. Humiliated and depressed, I went to the locker room
with flooded eyes. One of my colleagues advised me that this is very normal in
this company, and even though a rude person, our manager is very good at heart.
Due to my personal commitments, I decided to stay in the company until I get a
new job. Though despised to the core, I continued to listen to unpleasant
phrases from him. I do not remember how many times I heard that sacred word
“Fu…off”. Like other employees, I also
remained as a Fu….r until I left that company.
This article is dedicated to those great bosses and
professionals who stink their workplace with foul language which makes the
working environment dirtier than a latrine!!!
The use of profane language is an age-old issue which
often disrupts the serene environment. Despite knowing that the other person
will get hurt, many individuals use foul words to flaunt their authority. Most
of us would have witnessed people using offensive language at work but would
have kept quiet due to fear of job loss or to avoid a conflict. As offensive
language upsets many people and can distract them from their work, I do not
understand why many companies do not take it seriously. Even though the
organizations have policies pertaining to discrimination, harassment, bullying etc.,
either will ignore the inappropriate words spoken by their employees or will
wait for an official written complaint to take action. Rick Alaniz, a former
attorney of the US department of labour and in the President's Cost of Living
Council during the Nixon Administration, says “Often, when profanity is used in
the workplace, managers and supervisors are reluctant to address it for fear
that they will be seen as prudish or part of the speech police. However,
employers need to carefully consider their response to profane or obscene
language when used by employees”.
Many people, especially Westerners, attribute the use
of profane language to their culture, and for me, this statement is utter
non-sense. The same people behave very graciously during their job interviews
and ensure that every word spoken is respectful and appropriate. The same
employees if working in a hotel/ restaurant will never utter a single foul word
with the customers but at the same time do not hesitate to shower their
subordinates with curses and profane words. It is very common for Generation X
and Millennials to use profane language in their daily life as they consider it
as part of today’s culture. The film industries from Hollywood and Bollywood
maneuver the opinion of current generation by using bad words without any
inhibition in their movies. “In offices, hallways, conference rooms and
cubicles, people are dropping the f-word into daily banter with no more ill
will than lobbing a pencil. Mostly, this is driven by young people who’ve grown
up hearing it in movies, music and cable TV and reading it on social media.
They don’t consider it a BFD to say it, and are surprised when others do.” Says
Kim Ode reporter of Star Tribune. A research conducted on 1,500 office
employees by Wrike, a management software company, found that almost seven in
10 millennials said they swear / use profane language at work, compared with a
little more than five out of 10 baby boomers. About a third of millennials
explained that swearing can help strengthen a team, and that can reflect
enthusiasm for their work. In their view, an f-bomb is just an adjective, used
without overthinking it too much. What a pity! Maybe in the future you will
have prophets and preachers using F…word in their sermons, holy books containing
F….and all other profane words.
The labour/employment legislations of all countries
strictly forbid using profane language at the workplace. A complaint from an
employee can really put the companies into serious problems, including loss of
reputation as most of the organizations boast employee-friendly ethical
principles. “HR sections have studied the use of offensive language at work.
Their point of view is universal and crystal clear – nobody should use
offensive language in the workplace. Workers have a right to expect to hear
civil, reasonable language at all times. The reality, of course, is different.
Offensive language occurs to varying degrees. Some of it is simple swearing but
at other times, the language expresses clichéd and perverse comments about
Race, Sexuality, gender, Religious Belief, age and Disability. But whatever the
nature of the language, if it causes offence, then it’s inappropriate.” Says
Kevin Watson, Legal Expert.
As mentioned earlier, most of the organizations have
prohibitory policies to keep the workplace free from profanity. But the success
of implementation will depend on the nature and seriousness of leaders. The
leaders should observe these rules strictly to become role models to their
followers. Jane of Chorus HR remarked “Think about examples. You can have the
most prohibitive policy in the world but if the boss is f-ing and blinding, so
will everyone else (except the ones who are offended by the boss, of course).”.
Many studies have proved that the use of abuse at work
reduces the productivity. Their abusive treatment demoralizes the employees,
and the result is a decline in productivity. According to Joanne Aurica, a
writer & Content Developer, “Do abusive bosses reduce workplace
productivity? Need we say YES loudly enough or emphatically enough? Abuse is
not to be tolerated in any situation, yet is often the style of managers who
have “personal issues.” Combined with disgust over the abuse and knowledge that
this person can either continue to abuse you or you have to leave work that you
may actually enjoy is a very difficult place to be in life. Most employees cannot
or do not want to bring their best in such a scenario.”. A 2007 research in 265
chain restaurants in the US uncovered that restaurants with vicious managers
lose more food from waste and theft (James R Detert 1, Linda K Treviño, Ethan R
Burris, Meena Andiappan, 2007). A 2013 Journal of Applied Psychology research
of more than 2,500 American soldiers who were on active duty in Iraq revealed
that soldiers with expressively obnoxious officers were more likely to admit
hitting and kicking innocent civilians and were less likely to report crimes by
others (Sean T Hannah, John M Schaubroeck, Ann C Peng, Robert G Lord, Linda K
Trevino, Steve W J Kozlowski, Bruce J Avolio, Nikolaos Dimotakis & Joseph
Doty – 2013).
Those leaders who use profane language, especially
F…word to their followers, should understand that through this action they
themselves lose their respect and value. When congresswoman, Rashida Tlaib
(D-Michigan) was caught on record referring to President Donald Trump as a
“mother f…….r” , Trump tweeted that “she dishonored herself and her family”
with her use of foul language. But people retweeted that he is also not an
exception because of his statements against opponents “grab them by the pussy”
, “Listen, you motherfu…….rs”. Nobody
can escape nature’s inflexible law “You reap what you sow” or in Newton’s words
“every action has an equal and opposite reaction”.
How to respond to abusive bosses and colleagues?
Johnny C. Taylor Jr, CEO of the Society for Human Resource Management, remarked
“The key to conflict resolution in any setting is communication. This might be
uncomfortable at first. But you’ll have to push through, since you can’t solve
what you don’t confront.”. You must
strongly tell them that you do not like such behavior and reiterate it in case
of recurrence. Normally, subordinates, especially those who are new and holding
junior positions, do not respond to abusive bosses due to fear of losing their
jobs. Do not worry, you will lose the job only if your performance is average
or poor. Deliver exceptional performance and result to the organization, and
your job will be safe. Whenever somebody uses profane language, tell them that you
do not like to hear those words, and it is affecting your performance. If they
repeat, just walk out of the room/ meeting without showing any anger or
resentment. “There are some people who always seem angry and continuously look
for conflict. Walk away from these people. The battle they're are fighting
isn't with you, it's with themselves."
quoted Rashida Rowe. Just meet them personally to reiterate your demand.
Tell your manager in person that he/she is a wonderful person with exceptional
good qualities but should control his/her tongue and you will see a tremendous
change of behavior towards you, if not to others. Instead of complaining to the
authorities and punishing them, it is better to change such people.
Another way of responding to abuse at work is
reporting to higher officials or HR Heads. If you have a grievance handling
mechanism in your organization, use the same. If you want to keep your
anonymity due to fear of losing your job, write mails without mentioning your
identity. The quote in Bhagavad Gita (Sacred book of Hindus) where Lord Shri
Krishna once said to Arjuna “It is sin to commit injustice, but it is a greater
sin to tolerate injustice" holds true...that is if one continues to endure
the injustice being done now, then it gives the wrongdoers the nerve to
continue with their sins...and there shall be no end to it.
Reference
1. As language grows more profane, office talk takes a
turn for the curse - By Kim Ode, Star Tribune (28 June 2017)
2. Dealing With Offensive Language at Work by Kevin
Watson (25 November 2019)
3. How do you deal with bad language in the workplace? By
Jane (7 May 2018).
4. Managerial modes of influence and counterproductivity
in organizations: a longitudinal business-unit-level investigation by James R
Detert, Linda K Treviño, Ethan R Burris & Meena Andiappan (2007)
5. Joint influences of individual and work unit abusive
supervision on ethical intentions and behaviors: a moderated mediation model by
Sean T Hannah, John M Schaubroeck, Ann C Peng, Robert G Lord, Linda K Trevino,
Steve W J Kozlowski, Bruce J Avolio, Nikolaos Dimotakis, Joseph Doty (2013)
6. What can employees do if their supervisor is
unprofessional or abusive? By Johnny C. Taylor Jr, CEO, Society for Human
Resources Management.
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